I took you on my hike this morning and shared some of the helpful tools I’ve learned and applied in the last few weeks. I edited together all the nuggets plus a 15 second avocado meditation at the end! You can view the video here.
Some of the resources which I mentioned are included below:
- On allowing your feelings to move through you (rather than burying them with social media, food, TV, alcohol or busyness): Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach is a game-changer when it comes to allowing your feelings to move through you—especially conflicting feelings. The book has been pivotal for me in terms of changing my relationship to recurring themes in my life.
- On forgiveness and healing: I mention this SuperSoul Session by Caroline Myss, 7 Myths and 7 Truths about Healing which can be viewed here. While I’m a fan of Myss’ work, I don’t always like her tone or delivery, but this short talk is well worth it, especially the ending. It contains that apology and forgiveness exercise which I referenced on the mountain.
- On letting go of the effort to control outcomes: Outrageous Openness: Letting the Divine Take the Lead and Change Me Prayers: The Hidden Power of Spiritual Surrender – both books are by Tosha Silver and can be found here. These books have felt like they have saved me–from my own thoughts–in the last few weeks. People tell you to surrender all the time, but she does it with such humor and great anecdotes to model it again and again.
- On letting go of anticipating and being prepared for every scenario: If you want to know more about the concept of hypervigilance, I really like this post titled Parentified Daughters as Female Leaders: Keys to your Emergence by Bethany Webster. The concepts also apply to sons, so if you’re a man reading this, it’s worth taking the time to click on the link.
- On boundaries which are essential to employ the tools outlined on my hike: I don’t mention boundaries in the video, but I did ask myself on the way home, “what’s missing?” “What else can I share to help folks test these tools in their own lives?” The most powerful tool for me has been to make boundaries, even with the people I love. Here’s one of my favorite short (6 minutes) videos by Brene Brown on that topic.
I love you.
You are a strong, smart and powerful woman with an amazing brain and heart. I love you. I’m Inspired by you and I know your next tribe is forming as we are living. Keep on smiling from your soul that loves you almost as much as I do. XOXOXXOXOXXO
Oh La La, could I ask for a more beautiful heartfelt comment than this? Thank you for loving me the way you do, for taking the time to view the video and for just being you! I love you!
Rebecca, I loved your message below and video. I was particularly taken by your first point about Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach. When I lived in DC, I was a regular at her Wednesday night medication and dharma talk. She taught me about meditation and my copy of that book is seriously dog-eared and I have shared it with so many friends. You can check on the Insight Meditation Community of WDC (www.imcw.org) for her schedule as she’s off a bit in the summer doing classes elsewhere. I don’t know if she still does it but Tara used to host women’s weekend retreats in January each year at a place about an hour out of DC and I attended those each year as well. I miss her class and teachings so much and I’m thrilled that you are turned onto her as well. I’m sending you love and all good wishes. xoxo – Penny
Thank you, Penny! You know what’s funny? I’ve kept a printed email strip from you taped to a bookmark in my planner since 12/31/09 was and it reads: “Rebecca, one thing I learned from my meditation teacher in DC was, ‘if you cannot fix it or change it, then surround it with love and let it go.’ I know that’s hard to put into practice but it has worked with me. Just something to keep in mind. I wish I’d known that pearl of wisdom…much love from my end to yours.” That must have been Tara Brach’s wisdom! Thank YOU for that!
Bless you, Rebecca, for so many things …
Your willingness to be vulnerable, brave, and open with your readers makes me feel I can do the same. I so often feel conflicted between what I should be doing and what I feel I have the actual bandwidth to do … and that often keeps me from doing some of the things I really want to do. Does that make sense? Need vs. want vs. should can wreak havoc on a person, which I think we all feel at times, if not most of the time. I so appreciate the resources you shared and the experiences you’ve had yourself around these topics. When someone you love is brave enough to discuss them the way that you do, it feels like being given permission to do the same. I thank you so much for that. It’s tricky to find the balance between not letting certain things weigh you down, and believing in a divine plan that has your back, so to speak. Learning and growing through challenges, knowing that the decisions you’ve made may not have been the best at the time, but they created an opportunity to grow, maybe even an opportunity to forgive or ask for forgiveness. We could go on and on, couldn’t we? 🙂 You’re creating a therapy circle here!
In any case, thank you so much for this wonderful video that touched my heart. I love you bunches, sweet friend. xoxo
I love you so much, Stacey. The timing and content of your comment was divine. Thank you for taking the time to articulate so beautifully how the post, and how my love, impacts you. Just this morning, I was questioning whether I should take it down. Vulnerability is a tricky thing, as you know, being a fellow writer. When I know how stretching myself can positively affect people like you and specifically you, it affirms that I am indeed walking my path and listening deeply for which direction I should take. Again, I love you so! xoxo
Wow, what a touching response. I can’t tell you how much your words mean to me … and that mine meant so much to you. My grandma called it a Mutual Admiration Society … I always loved that. 🙂 All I can say is, keep walking your path in your authentic way. You don’t have to be consciously inspiring all the time—you just have to be you. As I said before, that openness and braveness, while creating vulnerability in you (which I completely understand!), creates empowerment in others. And we admire and respect you all the more for that vulnerability you’re so willing to share. All those parts of you that make you uniquely Rebecca are why we all love you dearly. Big hugs to you, sweet friend. 🙂