And for no reason

I write to you on old index cards

except for the reason that you did the same as soon as you could form the letters

‘I Love Beccu’

Master of Phoenetics

with the humor only the King of Pudding or Tuna could muster

You took me to a Midsummer Night’s Dream in roller disco in New York

where all my 1970s flashing-light-fantasies came true

You became the mountain

and the sea

before I was ready for your ephemeral exit

now you’re everywhere in everything

the library book arriving just in time

to save me from the insomnia of sorrow

the quick reflex catching my glasses before they fall

into a watery grave

the mega giant hummingbird visiting the lavender

I say, “Thanks Joey”

Thanks for my broken heart

for loving you as a brother and a son

for rollerskating in the living room

for pointing to the radio and telling me it’s time

for dancing after dishes

our last hug one year ago

Me telling you

I need you to stay

I know what it is not to want to show up

We need you

I love you

And so you gave us one more year

A year of embraces

and another birthday

laughter through the magic of machines

I hold you now

My good luck charm

even as the possibility of a Hafiz verse undoes my grieving heart

and for no reason

I choose to be again

waiting for you to help me find my keys