There is a pervasive form of contemporary violence, and that is activism and overwork. The rush and pressure of modern life are a form, perhaps the most common form, of this innate violence. To allow oneself to be carried away by a multitude of conflicting concerns, to surrender to too many demands, to commit oneself to too many projects, to want to help everyone and everything, is to succumb to violence. The frenzy of our activism neutralizes our work for peace. It destroys our own inner capacity for peace because it kills the root of inner wisdom which makes work fruitful.”
–Thomas Merton, Confessions of Guilty Bystander
I read this quote at a time when I was filled above the line and my reaction was, “Oy!” Does any of this sound familiar? This was at a time, when two days in a row, I lost my glasses in my condo. It’s a very small condo. One time, my husband found them on top of a loft wall, about one foot from the ceiling. This was after I had put in contact lenses with a 6 year-old prescription which allowed me to see long distance, but I was unable to read without getting dizzy. Do you know what I did? I laughed. I laughed at, and with, myself. If I want to get metaphysical about it, I showed myself compassion.
Do you show yourself compassion? How do you react to big or small mistakes that you make yourself?
I realized yesterday, that I qualify for the mother of the year award because in my quest to purge and give away the shoes that do not fit my son, I kept a set of shoes for him—one shoe was a size 12 and the other shoe was a size 12 ½. He has been wearing these for a week. Luckily, I gave them to a friend and we can make an exchange this weekend, so my child only has to wear these for two weeks. (By the way, he hasn’t even noticed this.)
What else besides showing yourself compassion?
Change your routine and put down the phone.
I recently started changing my commute home to get some quiet reflective time. Sometimes, I choose to connect with friends over the phone. (I know, that doesn’t count as quiet reflective time.) The other day, I told myself, no. Connect with yourself, Rebecca. And that’s when I stumbled upon this dumpster. And I was mightily entertained because there I was identifying with an overfilled dumpster. Then that Merton quote I had read, popped into my head.
So make some peace with yourself. Show compassion, change your routine, put down the phone…that means texting too. Just be. See if you can find one hour this week, broken up into 10 or 15 minutes increments. It’s a challenge I put to you. That means over seven whole days which is 168 hours, you plan to allocate one hour to self-care. Leaving you 167 hours for the rest of it. Please let me know how it goes! Post a comment or write me directly at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Rebecca: You inspiring message of the overflowing dumpster was right on target for me this week after my husband’s surgery on his R ear-I do need to take time for myself, too. Thx
Thank Marrietta. I thought of both of us in the Merton quote “to want to help everyone and everything” — we just keep on learning. Praying for a smooth recovery from surgery and 60 minutes of peace just for you.
You know, after reading the title, I put off reading this until now. I’m sure I don’t even have to explain why. It’s one of those, “OK, I need to have time to process what she’s about to say, and I can’t do it till I’m good and ready.” Uggh. 1 hour? I can do 1 hour. I don’t even want to tell you what else I’ve done to myself for this summer. I guess I’m ready.
Love that you had that reaction and the courage to read it! Yes, print out the quote! I feel ya! Hope you have started logging that hour. 😉
PS, I think that quote is a printer-outer.
this one really came at a good time. I am having a hard time having my head to shut up.
Yes! That’s called monkey mind. Just tell them, no more monkeys jumping on the bed, to take a rest, focus on your breathing. Just the breaths.
I need to marinate on this. I’ll be back.
Cool. That means it worked.