Making Your Dreams Real & 100 Thank Yous!

Posted by rebeccainspiresnow

Readers and beautiful ones! I want to say thank you for buying more than 100 copies of The Amazing Adventures of Selma Calderón: A Globetrotting Magical Mystery of Courage, Food & Friendship! Since we published the book on August 8, I set a goal of selling 100 books by September 30. Whether you bought one, told someone about it or shared it on social media, thank you! You can read all about why I wrote the book on my new website here. If you want to know the answer to “What if you could travel the world, go back in time, and eat your favorite foods along the way, all the while unraveling the mystery of your missing parents?” click here.

I’ve written this post with so much love and a desire to visit with you via video. That’s why I’ve compiled moments in the journey all together in this post. More than anything I hope this inspires you to go for your own dreams. No desire is too big or too small! That’s why I included a never-before-seen video of my own vision wall at the end. Here’s an appreciation video I made for you during my lunch break.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, this beautiful story took me ten years to finish. To take you back to the moment we published the book, I’m sharing a video of me popping the cork to celebrate.

Here’s another video we created the weekend of publication which includes a delicious sweet potato pancake cooking lesson thanks to my favorite Life is Messy Kitchen cookbook by the amazing entrepreneur Mayi Carles.

It’s been so rewarding to read a mom’s Facebook post telling me that her daughter is staying up wait too late because she can’t stop reading Selma. And for a reader to send me this picture saying that she made a date night just for herself alone to read the book.

The reviews have been amazing! Here are some excerpts:

As soon as I started reading about Selma, I was hooked! — KC

I have fallen in love with Selma, her friends, family and adventures. Each page of this wonderful story takes you on a magical journey filled with love. This is a story you will want to share with the entire family. I can’t wait to find out where Selma takes us next. — Margaret S. Edwards

You will be swept away in a magical tale…Selma will inspire you to dream and believe in magic. Rebecca Villarreal creates a world where anything is possible-both good and bad-and how patience, understanding, love, and belief in oneself can truly be transformative…she teaches us to approach life with an open mind and with gusto. – John C. Kazmierczak

Thoughtful, engaging and delightful–your entire family will enjoy this page-turner! – Jaqueline M. Crocetta

I set aside an evening to dive into this delectable book and fell in love immediately with the cast of characters. Selma’s got a big heart and a mischievous streak that lands her in a spot of bother more often than not. I loved being on this journey with Selma, Guadey, and Hurley & Uli. And I honestly can’t wait for more. I think kids of ALL ages will enjoy this magical journey! –Linda Stockton

I was transported near and far, and imagined myself taking all of these adventures with Selma and her family & friends. It made me laugh a lot, it made me cry a little and it definitely left me wanting for a sequel. –J. Sullivan

Selma and her companions will be in several Christmas stockings this year. Hopefully, we will not have to wait long for a sequel! –Juliann Uritus

Signed copies!

And speaking of stockings or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or any holiday, we now have a team ready to send you signed copies! Please send an email to team@rebeccavillarreal.com and we’ll send you a form. The book is $12 and U.S. shipping rates for one copy are as follows: Media Mail $4; First Class: $5; Priority Mail: $8.50. Once we get your order, we’ll calculate shipping one or multiple copies to you and your loved ones.

I’m a HUGE supporter of independent book stores. You can purchase Selma through your local independent books store by searching and ordering here.

It’s also available on: Amazon, iTunes, Barnes & Noble and Nook.

Stay tuned in the coming months, we’ll be announcing which organization shall receive 5% of all net profits from Selma!

Creating Your Own Vision and Making Your Dreams Real

And here’s the treat I promised at the top of this post. Remember how I moved across country from Chicago to California? That was part of a very big and beautiful dream I held for 20 years. I kept wishing for it and working toward it.

A key step in getting me closer to how I wanted my life to look was to forgive others and myself any and all hurts and disappointments. It sounds simple and we know it’s not but it clears the way for so much yes in your life. I wrote a post about forgiveness here and shared resources related to forgiveness here.

The other way was to constantly declare my intentions either to my loved ones or to my broader family here on this blog. You saw me apply for a scholarship and very nervously and excitedly declare that I’d finish the book. The other thing I did was surround myself with images that supported my dream. Here is an intimate tour of my giant vision wall while which was built over time at my home in Chicago.

Everyone has a recommended approach to visualizing your best future. You are the best judge of that. Monday, October 12 is the new moon. No matter what you believe in the world, we all live in the same one. Here’s what I’d like to share about this moment: You are worthy. As we move into a new phase, take a moment to sit with that. You deserve joy, happiness and a rich life. Think about how you want to feel.*

One recent interview I enjoyed which helped me break through some of my own fears, is this “Big Strong Magic” interview by author Elizabeth Gilbert of researcher and storyteller Brené Brown. If you have little ones, put on your headphones because there is some adult language in it. There’s an entire podcast series on this available on iTunes and Soundcloud. You can listen to the interview here.**

I love learning about and creating my own rituals alone and with my family. Tonight’s a great night to do that. Or tomorrow night with the new moon. What if you took some time to write down a few old hurts rip them up and toss them in the trash then write some new gratitude lists or wishes for your new beginning? I’m on Day 53 of a #yearofgratitude. You can follow my journey on Instagram and start your own journey!

Please keep sharing your Selma love with her magical hashtag #cucalacas!

Thank you again for your generosity in helping my dreams come true. I hope my vision wall and these words open up a bright space for you to reflect and set some intentions for your best life ever!

With love and gratitude,

Rebecca

*P.S. A fun free tool to help you visualize how you want to feel is the Desire Map Core Desired Feelings library and graphic maker. I used the latter for my vision wall.

**P.P.S. I can’t help but encourage you to read Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert and Rising Strong by Brené Brown. If you visit Brené’s site, watch her brief book trailer video including the Manifesto of the Brave and Brokenhearted. And I can’t help sharing her interview on Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. I broke through some MAJOR fear when I watched it. Enjoy!

Superpower Unveiled: Contentment

Posted by rebeccainspiresnow

This is not my first, nor my last post about superpowers. Or being a superhero.

It is the first time I’m writing about contentment and sharing some steps as to how I got there. The photo above was taken after an elated moment at the World Domination Summit, a gathering of people dedicated to adventure, service and community. Together we dared to answer the question, “How do I live an unconventional life in a conventional world?”

Clearly, donning a cape in public is the first step. I was inspired by Dee Williams who created her cape out of an airplane blanket during her speech about her life’s journey to building her own tiny house. (Read a perfect tiny blog post about this speech by Tiny House builder Ethan here.) Dee asked us to stand up and tie an imaginary cape around our necks. It may not surprise you that I used my wrap as a real cape in that moment. And that I walked out of the theater and down to the waterfront wearing said cape.

Try it. Right now. Stand up, shake your cape out in front of you, like you’re shaking out a sheet or towel before you fold it. Only this time, flip it around and over your head. You walk taller with a cape. You have to thrust your shoulders back to keep it in alignment. And you are driven by a strong desire to plant your feet firmly in an open stance with your balled up fists resting on your hips.

Try walking outside with your imaginary cape. No one has to know but you. You’ll notice that you have better posture and that your confidence experiences a little lift.

All that superhero set up is to tell you that recently, I went through an all-time low. Sad, dejected, I can’t quite say hopeless, but I was in the swamp. I saw it for what it was, some things happening in my life, some in my heart and some in the world.

I asked friends for help. They gave it to me with supportive words, hugs and perspective.

I also reached deep into my bucket of resources and remained open to the ones that fell in my lap. Here’s what I found

Core Desired Feelings: Many of you know that I’m a believer in the Desire Map approach by Danielle LaPorte. It’s very simple. You figure out how you want to feel every day and you keep those same feelings front of mind, and heart. My Core Desired Feelings for the last few months have been Olympic Free Trusting Joy. (Note: you can change your Core Desired Feelings when the time is right for you.) I actually analyzed what in my life was lending itself to fulfilling those feelings. And I found one thing that was completely jacking it up: JEALOUSY. I thought I wasn’t one of those people that experiences jealousy, you know, those human people. Then I realized I wanted someone else’s freedom. Freedom of time. And that was making me angry. I know, I know, be grateful, grass isn’t greener and all that. Come on, Rebecca, INSPIRE NOW! I couldn’t, until I zeroed in on the areas of my life where I’m free. So I took a five-hour semi-spontaneous bike ride along the lake and even went swimming in my biking clothes.

I looked for other smaller windows of freedom like the quiet moment of reflection over my favorite Assam tea. Then I looked at areas of my job where I’m so free to create new tools to help the folks I love and adore. And the list kept expanding until I forgot about looking at someone else’s freedoms and I couldn’t find my jealousy because I was too busy being content and noticing miracles around me…like the tree pictured below on my bike path to work. If you want to play with generating your own Core Desired Feelings, visit this groovy graphic maker where you can plug in your favorite words to make your own electronic or printable visual reminder.

Tapping: I had heard about the Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) from two of my most trusted advisors over the last few years and had dabbled, but not really tried. Tapping or EFT, is a blend of acupressure and talk therapy that has been scientifically proven to alter your brain chemistry. And here’s the kicker, you do it on yourself! I took a free webinar from Jessica Ortner to use tapping for weight loss, but really, I have used it to deal with anxiety, anger or sadness (in the form of disappointment mostly). It has been one of the most powerful paths to letting go of those feelings. It’s so simple, this short video is my go-to right now just to remind myself how to do it. The best part of tapping has been that it allows the “negative” feeling to bubble up and move through me, then allows me to still love and accept myself. (As opposed to that internal script, “You shouldn’t feel this way! Look how fortunate you are!) This is particularly helpful to those of us who focus so much on gratitude that sometimes we smush down the negative feelings deeper and deeper so they have no where to go but in our guts, or to manifest in other physical triggers of stress. You can also just search EFT on YouTube and find a range of videos.

The No-Diet: If you’re a faithful reader, you know I’ve spent time green juicing and being a vegan and a vegetarian as well as thriving with Weight Watchers. I loved those moments and I loved how I felt. Here’s the kicker: I’m done. I’m done with those rules and that rigor. I love food. I love exercise—fun stuff like biking, walking, swimming, yoga, soccer and dancing. So that’s it. I’m just eating real food. And drinking real wine. Mostly Pinot Noir and Rioja. No more rules. Just paying attention to what I eat, keeping it mostly whole organic non-GMO. And I’m so content.

There are more things I’ve been doing, like binge TV watching on the Kindle while doing dishes and working out (Scandal, Modern Family, Green Arrow). That’s been another outlet when I’m jonesin’ for freedom because it’s simple fun. I’ve made dates with my husband and with friends. I’ve laughed a lot with my kid. And I’ve prayed to God, my guardian angels and my guides to just help me be a vessel and make things easy. Mostly, I haven’t overdone anything. And for me, that’s revolutionary. That’s contentment.

I’m sending you a cape, some good posture and a superhero hug from me. Just be. You’re enough. You’re enough. You’re enough. And if you have any doubt, click on this Kid President video or watch it below. To quote him, “You have everything right now to change the world. If you want to be awesome, treat people awesome. I’m talking about compassion.” Sometimes, you have to treat yourself with compassion. Sometimes you have to see yourself as awesome, just the way you are.

Meet my noisy neighbor, Fear

Posted by rebeccainspiresnow

I’m not exactly sure when she moved in. But I do know fear’s been with me since 5^th grade. That year, the boy who liked me followed me home and punched me in the jaw because I wouldn’t be his girlfriend. Fear’s been that neighbor with the music pounding through the walls in my head when I submitted my first poem for publication. She came to visit me when my son was in the hospital, but she spent the whole time talking about herself. She’s been planting her lawn chair on my property poking at my heart each of the seven times I took a risk on love, until this last try worked out. She stands at my fence with a cigarette hanging out of her mouth yammering away as I expand my novel answering the questions asked by characters eight years ago when I didn’t know them well enough to answer. Or I was just too afraid?

What’s your fear?

Is it your boss? Heights? The dark? Your dream of becoming a writer, singer, chef, CEO, marathon runner, spouse, parent? Or is it just a fear of speaking up?

Fear’s that noisy neighbor inside your head. You might be so used to her voice that you think she’s your imaginary friend.

Fear tells you, “You’re not good enough, smart enough, brave enough…” And then there’s the way she controls others: “They’re going to laugh at you, find out your secret: that you don’t know what you’re doing.” Eckhart Tolle might call that voice your ego–those thoughts that are not real. Those voices are not real. What’s happening in the moment is real.

How much power do you want to give fear?

I’m not going to tell you to laugh in the face of fear. Though sometimes, you have to admit that the conversations with your neighbor, from an objective standpoint, or if they were in a movie, might be funny in a neurotic sort of way. Please know that I’m not referring to the fear when in life-threatening situations. That’s a different kind of fear. But even in those circumstances, I think that humans have the capacity to dig deep.

What about “tragedy”?

I asked Pam Teaney Thomas, the winner of my Birthday Blog Giveaway, about fear. I met her when speaking in South Dakota last year. She’s a remarkable woman, an artist and an activist who works with youth. She has seen her share of fear in the form of two life-threatening situations. Her house, including most of her paintings, burnt down. And she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Here’s what she said:

When I think of the hard times…you find the courage to go through them by those who have walked the path before you and are standing on the other side. They understand your fears, pains and needs. They made it, therefore so can I. The support of my Faith, Family and Friends were huge in pushing through. Each hard time made the next hard time not so hard. You become tempered like steel…Sharper, stronger, and shinier. You recognize that by walking through it there can be a sliver lining if you keep your eyes open to it. Count Your Blessings and Name them One by One and you will see what The Lord hath Done. Truly at the first anniversary of our Fire that is what we did, (it was hard especially for my 17 year old son, but was the best thing we could force ourselves to do). We are now 7 years out and we don’t miss that dinner together each year to celebrate the blessings, not the loss.”

Easy Tools to Deal with Fear

My friends, we can learn from Pam and we can learn from Fear. Here’s what I do now:

Ask for help: I did this when I recently experienced a wave of almost paralyzing fear about publishing my novel. (The closer it becomes to a reality, the more my neighbor wants to keep me company.) I asked some lovely people to hold me up in a bubble of bravery, and that’s what they did, in words, through Facebook posts, with photos, and in thoughts and prayers. I also asked the divine for help. I pulled out all the stops, God, angels, guides, universe, fairies, moon—it made me exercise my vulnerability muscle in a whole new way.
Push the button to walk. I actually walk through my fear like a swamp, because I know there is dry steady land on the other side. Steven Pressfield author of The War of Art, wrote about fear as a good thing. It can be a helpful messenger in showing you how much you want something. So the more frightened you are of taking action, the more you know it’s what you’re called to do. It can sometimes provide you with the adrenaline rush you need to get a task done.
Write. It can be a poem. Or just a scrap of paper that you later rip up or burn over the stove. It can be a journal entry. An email to a friend. Try it. In writing down your fear, you face it differently. It can help you separate from those noisy voices and more objectively decide how much longer you want to pass the time with those thoughts and feelings.

Here’s an excerpt from a poem I wrote last week while swimming in the swamp of fear. One fear had triggered another and another until I was all memories and pain. It’s called: “A New Path.”

Higher self hanging by the tips of angels

feel my fingers slipping

go back to the page

repair one line at a time

fill in the space

between your eyes

there’s a knowledge

in everyone’s heart

and it rests right here

it rests right here

You can buoy your dreams

on a raft of chants, songs

steps on that new path

you wouldn’t have it

brick by brick

heel mark

pebble

rock

the charity of a new day

embrace it before

it’s gone again

So tune out your noisy neighbor when you need to, or shake your booty at her and use her yammering voice to propel you forward. Embrace this new day, my friend, it’s the only one you have right now.

Big hug from my heart to yours,

P.S.: For some other resources on dealing with fear* check out:

Brené Brown: If you just want a 10-minute fix and a chance to laugh, here’s one of my favorite clips from her speech at the World Domination Summit. The ultimate victory over fear is to be able to choose vulnerability, to risk your heart in the face of it. If you’re not familiar with her research, consider watching Brené’s 19-minute TED talks focused on vulnerability and shame. They get at the heart of fear as well. I’ve also just started reading her latest book Daring Greatly and it’s amazing. If you’re already a fan, check out this recent interview with Jonathan Fields of The Good Life Project.
Danielle LaPorte’s Making New Mind Grooves: A Discussion about the Neuropathways that are steering your life. This is a great way to train your brain out of its habits of worry or negativity. She also recently wrote about love and having a gentle heart, yet building a fence around it. You don’t have to let everyone in. That one resonated with me as I balance compassion with self-care.
Hay House World Summit: This is a free online summit that started yesterday. You’ll be able to hear 30+ speakers online on a range of topics. I believe that for $7.00, you’ll have anytime access to 100+ speakers. (Registration fees go to their nonprofit.)

Finally, you can follow Pam Teaney Thomas on Twitter @PamTeaneyThomas

*Items one and two contain an occasional well-placed swear word in case you are sensitive about that. Stick with the content, it’s going to make you feel worlds better.

Rebecca’s Birthday Blog Giveaway

Posted by rebeccainspiresnow

Today is my birthday! I want to celebrate with gratitude! I have so much abundance thanks in part to you, dear readers. I’m giving away some of my favorite books and other goodies.

How can you qualify to win?

Easy: enter your email* at http://www.rebeccainspiresnow.com to become an email follower. Remember to check your inbox to confirm it!

You can increase your chances by sharing this via Facebook and twitter and encouraging your friends to follow via email. Just let me know at rebeccainspiresnow@gmail.com which friends joined.

We’ll do the drawing late night on May 1. Thanks for sharing!

Sample Post or Tweet: Get inspired! Win some amazing books. Follow Rebecca Villarreal at rebeccainspiresnow.com

[Style note: My fabulous hat is from Katherine Carey Millinery, http://www.katherinecarey.com. She’s the most amazing milliner for men and women. Treat yourself to art for your head. Food note: This video was shot at Davanti Enoteca in Chicago, IL, check them out at http://www.davantichicago.com. Always delish.]

*Current email followers will be entered to win. In the case of a winner outside of the U.S., you’ll receive some books in e-book format.

Beauty inverted, leveled and carved from the same stone.

Posted by rebeccainspiresnow

A photograph is not an opinion. Or is it?” –Susan Sontag

Tim Arroyo’s Metamorphosis: The Inner Beauty Project exhibit examines beauty from a linear perspective. It’s on display at ArtStreet at the University of Dayton, Ohio. According to the exhibit description, the show is based on “an observation of the unwillingness to be photographed and shedding one’s outer layer to reveal a beauty from within.” I’d venture to say it’s also an obsessive look at beauty from a man who loves women and wants them to see the equanimity, evenness and equality in their physical features through one photographic process. The equality is not to say they are all the same, because the women, obviously are different—ages, races and ethnicities. However, there’s a reverence in the simplicity. The fact is that this particular approach does not detect make up with the exception of a small amount of black eyeliner (which a few women opted to use). I’ve seen him experiment with this approach for the last two years or so. The pupils look dilated and there’s a graying of the features no matter the skin tone of the subject. This blurring of identity creates a dramatic tension. The viewer is immediately drawn to the eyes and story behind the portrait of each woman staring directly out, in essence, proclaiming the universality of her beauty. He elevates the idea of beauty with this focus on sight. There are stories I can invent just by looking at each woman.

I was asked to be a part of the project and agreed at first, but changed my mind when my grandmother passed away. I felt sad and vulnerable and didn’t want to be photographed as part of the exhibit. Why? Because the exposure, photographic and through the promise of an exhibit, created an emotional risk for me. And I didn’t want to be documented in such a raw way when I felt raw.

Vulnerability and Imperfection

That rawness and vulnerability is what’s explored in both of Brené Brown’s TED Talks on vulnerability and shame. As I recently told a colleague who had not heard of her research, you need to watch the videos, just from a human being perspective. You’re life will be expanded, better. Her class, The Gifts of Imperfection has generated a social media movement causing women to post “regular” photos of themselves with “I am imperfect and I am enough.” (As a side note, there’s also a powerful lesson in her talks about how women prevent men from being vulnerable. Recall if you’ve ever referred to a grown man as “being a baby” when he is ill. It’s that nurturing and wholehearted love that we all need.)

Seeing Tim’s work made me think of two expansive photography projects. The earlier, dates back to 1979 and is a follow-up project from the Museum of Modern Art in New York, titled: The Family of Woman, A Worldwide Photographic Perception of Female Life and Being. The other is, “Women” by Annie Leibovitz. I was blessed to see the latter in person at the Corcoran Gallery of Art in Washington, DC in 1999. Susan Sontag wrote the essay to accompany the Leibovitz exhibit:

Any large scale picturing of women belongs to the ongoing story of how women are perceived, and how they are invited to think of themselves.”

Reverence Reinvented

I’ve observed Tim Arroyo’s work for close to eight years. As a fellow photographer and a progressive woman, I’ve thought, “Man, this guy likes women. He likes women’s bodies. In all their shapes and forms. Everybody’s sexy.” He also has some rather bizarre shots of beautiful women, altered into what I would call Cyclops and other creatures from his imagination. I’ve been at exhibits and watched the reaction to some of his more unusual contortions of beauty. There’s a fascination by some viewers with the idea of how traditional beauty can be converted into something shocking that makes your head tilt sideways. Often, especially with his own eerie self-portraits, I have a tickling in my brain that reminds me of the work of Rene Magritte mixed with Picasso’s Cubist era and a big pot of Dali Surrealism.

And this has made me wonder, from a feminist perspective, is he objectifying women? Or am I being a prudish, despite all my proclamations of progressiveness? If you’ve read any earlier blog posts, you’ll notice that I’ve been a bit obsessive with Danielle LaPorte’s The Desire Map. Through that inverted approach to goal-setting, I’ve looked at core desired feelings to help guide how I want to feel every day. And I’ve asked, what’s wrong with a mother in her forties also wanting to look sexy? I was raised in a diverse neighborhood dominated by liberals and intellectuals. Many folks looked down upon physical beauty and fashion as superficial. I’ve learned since climbing out of poor health after childbirth, that self-care from the inside out generates love and beauty. Sontag writes, “But in real life it’s still common to begrudge a woman who has both beauty and intellectual brilliance…” I’ve embraced the fact that external beauty and creative fashion can further my own artistic expression.

What’s wrong then, with a photographer who obsesses over images of all sorts of women in different shapes and sizes, with and without tattoos, with big bellies and thighs, with natural hair and hair full of product? What’s wrong with his bowing down to the power of their beauty, sensuality and rawness in this Metamorphosis exhibit? I’ll tell what’s wrong with it: nothing. That’s what I found through years of watching Tim’s work. It’s his work. Folks seek him out to document their moments in time. Even as some of his images are not to my taste and make me uncomfortable, they have prompted me to think about beauty, women and art. I’ve also reflected upon the physical body and how it can be manipulated to form beautiful and ugly images depending upon one’s perspective. One of my favorite people in the world doing great things for the image of women’s bodies is Taryn Brumfitt from Australia. She has started the Body Image Movement and has rocked the world in terms of being happy with her current state of normalness. This comes from a former fashion model. She has made me rethink beauty and the physical and so has Tim.

Wild Wisdom and the Artful Arc of Aging

One other element that pleased me mightily about Metamorphosis, is that it shifts perceptions on aging. Sontag wrote, “…women are punished more than men are by the changes brought about by aging. Ideals of appearance such as youthfulness and slimness are in large part now created and enforced by photographic images.” Some of my favorite images in the show are of the women advanced in age. For more than a decade, I’ve had the privilege of working with women ten to forty years my senior, and they are some of the most beautiful women I’ve ever met. Like the great Dr. Maya Angelou wrote in her poem, Phenomenal Woman excerpted here:

Men themselves have wondered

What they see in me

They try so much

But they can’t touch

My inner mystery,

When I try to show them

They say they still can’t see.

I say

It’s in the arch of my back

The sun of my smile

The ride of my breasts

The grace of my style.

I’m a woman

Phenomenally

Phenomenal woman

That’s me.

You can listen to Dr. Angelou recite the full poem here.

Story of Origin

As with many visual artists, Tim thrives on images, not words. I know this because he doesn’t talk that much. He has worked for years with maternity photography hashing out life before life comes. This stems from a man with a thriving family, who has also seen his share of loss. He is the father of two beautiful girls and married to a wildly feminist woman who doesn’t stop.

Tim has done some very interesting studies on smoke, nature and botany, which can also be very sensual, beautiful and ugly in an aesthetically pleasing way. (I’m a huge fan of object photography and fascinated by work like Irving Penn’s studies of trash on the sidewalk.) Some of my favorite works are Tim’s objects, particularly his portals series.

It’s clear that Tim has a number of talents as a professor and as a photographer. As any artist or entrepreneur knows, art and ideas can create conversation and controversy. That’s when we’ve done our job to make you think, feel and react. Seth Godin wrote a wonderfully short post this year about the humility of the artist. It may seem arrogant to say, “Perhaps this isn’t for you.” In actuality, he argues, it’s arrogant to think that your work could appeal to all. “Finding the humility to happily walk away from those that don’t get it unlocks our ability to do great work.” To connect with Tim Arroyo, check out his website or like him on Facebook.

A Girl Undone by Firelight

Posted by rebeccainspiresnow

A girl undone by firelight

walks to the edge of the floor

Reading verse of a faith so pious

prayers sweat blood from her pores

cerebellum searching

answers

explanations

a man called Ignatius

Why does this red dress feel so good?

This hat measure 22 3/4?

When did I learn flamenco?

Flying was a dream along the shoreline

racing seagulls in miniature

Baby Jaxon hears me sing this little light of mine

Sister sees healing in the alphabet

sent through Dixie cups

a string

rhythm flows

from the edge of sleep

your mind knows not

let your soul tell it so

What’s on your list?

Posted by rebeccainspiresnow

You can read some of the things on my son’s staycation list in the picture above. I really like the idea of adding play, pray and dream to my list. Plus who wouldn’t love credit for waking up? Think about it: you get credit for being alive.

I’ve been jamming with my to-do list since getting The Desire Map day planner (which by the way is now 50% off). It has the dates for the week on one side and on the other side here’s what I see:

Core Desired Feelings: this is where I write: “free, energetic, powerful and lotus love joy” to keep those feelings front and center in all that I do. Then I see:

Livelihood & Lifestyle
Body & Wellness
Creativity & Learning
Relationships & Society
Essence & Spirituality

Positive Declarations

People to be of service to

Helpful people to connect with

So instead of over a decade of Franklin Covey planning where there are A, B and C priorities and work and personal lists, now there is flow. I know that every week, I’m adding something about my health with that “Body & Wellness” section—it may be a workout plan or a doctor’s appointment. For Livelihood & Lifestyle, I know that I need to take care of some paperwork for our property. Now I look at it differently. I’m still going to the Cook County’s Assessor’s office, but I’m centered on the fact that it’s for my livelihood, my family. It’s different for me visually and feels connected to something important to me, it’s not just another thing on the list of one million things that I have to do. My work and personal tasks fit comfortably together. I especially love the “People to be of service to” and “Helpful people to connect with” sections because it also puts a new lens on some of the tasks I need to do.

You don’t have to “know” your Core Desired Feelings or own The Desire Map to use the planner. I’m still learning about it and evolving my list as as I go along. As I’ve been listening to the audio of The Desire Map, one of the sections focused on what you crave. Dancing and singing keep coming up for me. And so, I’ve skipped yoga in the morning sometimes and just danced in my living room with headphones before my tribe wakes up. One morning it was Prince’s B-Sides (which I would not play for a six-year old), and for fifteen minutes I was a teenager again. You’ll laugh at the fact that I had to ice my knees afterwards, so maybe I have to work back up to my adolescent moves, but the point is, I tried and I was inspired. And as I write to you now, I’m feeling the beats of Mandalay. You might also be interested in this article about the 11 problems music can solve.

For one friend of mine, 2014 is her year of fun. She is scheduling lots of it. What about you? Have you been listening to tunes that lift you? Are you still dreaming? Are you intentionally declaring love to the people that matter while you are still awake?

Why not? It feels good.

Dreams for Sale: Meet Fay and Katherine

Posted by rebeccainspiresnow

I recently finished 21 days of Chopra Center meditation on Desire and Destiny. This is my 3^rd round of 21-day meditations in 2013. The last day focused on this: Your destiny is joy. If your destiny is joy, then how do you live your life every day to get there? Well, maybe you are there. And if you are not, what intentions and actions can you take to get there?

Something clicked for me during this last time. I realized that I’m there every day. Even as I look (with unabashed fear and excitement that sometimes makes my shoulder blades ache) at the summer 2014 publication of my novel, I know that right now, writing to you is my joy. Over the last 21 days, I realized that I’m doing what I love. My day job focuses on volunteering and education, my life focuses on love, family, friends, health, writing and faith. And lots of fun and laughter.

I’m sharing the story of two dreamers, who took intention and action as well as two tools to help you follow your own passions and take your joy to the next level. I’m going to use them this year. What if we used these tools together?

I met Fay Shaw and Katherine Carey through Jennifer Lee’s Right-Brainers in Business Video Summit. (I won a scholarship to participate in it last year.) I’ve never met them in person, but through facebook, I have watched these two women create businesses I love, admire and support.

FAY SHAW, Bitwise E-Textiles Fay makes soft things light up. She is an engineer and crafter who has found e-textiles to be the perfect intersection of her passions. She likes to build things with Arduinos and on the crafting side, she likes to knit, spin, and sew. (Yes, I had to look up “Arduinos” too, that’s why it’s hyperlinked.) She sells craft kits: you can make bracelets, or two of my favorites, a jellyfish or a firefly. I asked Fay three simple questions about her journey:

1. How does it feel to be the inventor of bitwise E-textiles running your own business? It feels really empowering to think of ideas and then bring them to life. I never imagined that I would run my own business and it feels like the hardest thing I’ve ever done. What keeps me going is feeling a responsibility to educate people. There are so many ways to learn science and engineering; using art is one of them.

2. What brought you here? One year, I had taught friends how to make LED Christmas ornaments. They suggested I try to teach e-textiles workshops regularly. So I started to think of an interactive project and the light-sensitive firefly was born. It has a light sensor in its nose and turns on in the dark. All of the components are sewn together using conductive thread. I taught a few workshops and decided to make it into a kit and sell it on Etsy.

3. What keeps you pursuing your dream(s)? My greatest joy is when people work on their project and are delighted with how it works! I also love when students have come back to me with their own projects based on what I taught them. A woman came to a show with an LED bracelet she had created for her running group who ran an all-night race. A 7-year old, who had taken my class, brought in a dragon she made with a recycled sweater, LED eyes, and fiber optic whiskers! It feels really good to see people create something new from something I taught them.

Using art to learn science? Wow! My childhood experience with science could have taken a completely different direction! Fay regularly checks-in with a committed group of Washington-state entrepreneurs who met through the Right-Brainers in Business Group. What has struck me over the last several months of reading her check-ins (I’m an honorary member since I love Washington state), is that she shows up. She does the work that she loves. She takes ACTION. I invite you to take action and during this holiday season, consider purchasing one of her kits for yourself, families or friends. What a productive and fun way to spend time! Consider subscribing to her newsletter for updates on kits and workshops. Here’s where you find her: bitwiseetextiles.com and bitwiseetextiles.etsy.com.

KATHERINE CAREY, Katherine Carey Millinery Katherine is another passionate soul. She is a milliner creating the most gorgeous hats, for women and now, she’s working on her men’s line too. A native of Maui, she came to New York City to pursue her dream. While caregiving for her father, she began making hats by his bedside. Like a lot of artists and entrepreneurs, she has been pursing her dreams for some time while working another job. During the last two weeks, she took the final leap and launched her business full-time. I’ve watched her journey to Paris and create a board game in which each hat sold gets her closer to her dreams (and to paying her bills). Most of all, I have witnessed her faith. Katherine regularly asks people to send her love and prayers because she openly declares her passions, her courage and her fears. I have a special affection for milliners because my grandmother had her own shop. Katherine has so much love for what she does (and for her gorgeous cat, Pinto), that “big” success for her is inevitable. I’d venture to say, though, that she has created success and certainly joy, already. She is doing what she loves. Personally I’m in love with the Hudson Cloche below. Here are the best ways to explore Katherine’s world and to purchase her breathtaking pieces of art for your head and the heads of your loved ones: www.katherinecarey.com and https://www.facebook.com/kcmillinery.

So, perhaps now that you’ve read about Fay and Katherine, you say, wow, amazing people! They are so talented! Next, I invite you to declare, “So am I!” You are full of passions and talents. If you know it and embrace them, hooray for you! If you are getting that slight twist in the tummy, shoulder blade ache, want to stop reading because their passions make you anxious, I have a solution! I have two solutions! December is a great time for reflection. (If you are a regular reader, you know that I will find a reason to tell you that anytime is a great time for reflection.) Let’s focus on two easy ways you can get involved with your own life on a new level and elevate your game, your heart and your soul. Many of these resources are free.

THE TOOLS

Life Reimagined Have you visited www.lifereimagined.org? It’s a movement you can join for free that’s dedicated to helping people find and pursue their purpose in life. You can participate in a calling card exercise that helps you narrow down your passions. You can read about other people who have had their “life reimagined moments” and decided things like working for 30 years in a civil service job wasn’t their passion and now, they pursue marathon running or they open a pizzeria or sell the house and travel the world. Sometimes the transitions don’t have to be so dramatic. If you like what you see, consider reading the new book Life Reimagined, Discovering Your New Possibilities. The authors know their stuff. Richard Leider was named one of the top five most respected executive coaches in the world by Forbes and Alan Webber is founder of Fast Company magazine and former editor of the Harvard Business Review. I’ve met Richard and he is grounded in reality, simplicity and a passion for people finding their purpose. The book walks you through six practices: Reflect, Connect, Explore, Choose, Repack and Act. It’s quite logical.

The Desire Map just re-launched on December 3rd on a whole new level. It’s a completely inverted approach to goal-setting. It’s a show up in the world, take your time to choose your core desired feelings and let those feelings guide you through your life, your work, your love, every single day. It’s the birthing of a great heart idea by Danielle LaPorte. Here’s what others say about her:

“Danielle’s passion leaps off the page, and reading a few chapters of this book will ignite you into action.”–Gretchen Rubin The Happiness Project

“Danielle LaPorte is scary smart, yet so kind and practical that she kindles the fire in you without causing you to feel consumed by the flames…. Lean in and listen close. What she has to say is what our spirits need to hear.”–Martha Beck Steering By Starlight

I have used the Franklin Covey planning system for a decade. The Desire Map is my new guide. Danielle has launched a book, day planner, audio downloads, you name it. And if you are not ready to take the plunge, just sign up for her daily truthbombs, weekly newsletter or monthly digest. Here’s where you can learn more: bit.ly/desiremap.

Want to meet Danielle? Marie Forleo interviews her here calling it “Four Steps to Set Goals with Soul.”

I thank you, my friends, for reading about Fay, Katherine, Richard and Alan and Danielle. I thank you for celebrating passion, action and commitment. I invite you to step into your own light with a toe, then your foot, your leg, just hokey pokey yourself on over, dreaming is the gateway to joy. Live it every single day.

Spontaneous Perpetual Everyday Joy

Posted by rebeccainspiresnow

Declare something utterly beautiful today. Know you are loved. Look for light in the darkest moments. See the chaos as a messenger. FEEL. Take a digital break for 25 minutes. Write on a piece of paper to someone you love. … Continue reading →

Who is on your personal board of directors?

Posted by rebeccainspiresnow

I know God won’t give me anything I can’t handle, I just wish he didn’t trust me so much.

–Mother Teresa

Maaaaaan, I know some people who are getting it in the gut right now. Loved ones in the hospital. Physical pain. Grief. What can you do when you are stuck in the muck of stuff you can’t control? Three words:

Ask. For. Help.

I remember several years ago arriving at National Airport, at one of my lowest, most exhausted points, and just crying as I waited for my luggage. I was under so much stress at the time. A friend picked me up and handed me this little plaque with the Mother Teresa quote above. Ever since then, it sits on my desk every single day.

No matter if you believe in a higher power or not, you need your people. You need your personal board of directors. This same friend that met me at the airport, periodically, calls me “Madam Chairman” and asks for advice or simply calls to share the fact that all is well. We also have that “bruja” magical connection where one of us is thinking of the other, and the other knows.

Do you have a personal board of directors?

Knowing what to do comes from knowing who you are. Sometimes, we need our circles, our tribes, to reflect the best parts of ourselves, to hold up hope when we have none, and to carry concern over worry. The latter is a nuance I recently relished from the empress of inspiration, Danielle LaPorte.

Do you have people whom you can call to share “here’s what” and they do not need fifteen minutes of context because they know your life?

Even if you don’t talk all of the time, there’s a heart connection.

My board has never met all together. I receive and give one-on-one consults and referrals. We rarely have long conversations unless we have planned time together. Many of them do not live where I live.

Somehow, we stay connected. Through phone, text, Skype, handwritten letter (try one quickly before they become obsolete) and when circumstance strike, they are live and in person, over coffee, tea, wine, water, tears or luggage.

Love your people. Find your people. Ask for help.